There are days you feel crappy, but not enough to absolutely be bedridden. If you’ve got children, this is where the guilt kicks in. You’re not well enough to go on a grand adventure (if you ever are), but you don’t need to sequester yourself away from your family to ride out the flare.

So what do you do, particularly if this comes at a time when you are the only adult supervision available? I’ve only got a year of experience with fibromyalgia, but there have already been plenty of days when I feel low-energy but not awful. Here are five things to try when you’re in this situation:

1. Color. Many kids love the adult coloring books – my seven year old daughter and I have gone through some already and we keep quite a collection of them. We’ve got colored pencils, gel pens, and regular semi-fine tipped markers. Perhaps my daughter has more patience than most, but this can eat up a couple of hours easily. Plus, if I need a nap, I just tell her. She keeps coloring, I sleep next to her. I don’t feel like I’m leaving her alone on some island for children of chronically ill people.
2. Read. If you can read to your children, great. If they can read to you, even better, since they’ll get practice and all you have to do is listen, or at least pretend to be listening. Many kids love to read to their parents, and hopefully your child is one of them. If not, give them an incentive. Tell them if they read for 20 minutes, they can have a dollar, or a Shopkin *shudder* (I have a bag of them that my daughter “earns” by doing chores around the house). You can find lots – many Shopkins or whatever your child is into, on Ebay.

1. Watch a TV show or a movie. We have a Roku, so we don’t get the kazillion channels available with cable, but there are many shows and movies we love. Some, my daughter loves a lot more than I do, but that’s okay. She’s occupied. I can rest in the bed while my daughter watches one of her favorite movies for the hundredth time. Win-win. Also, your children may like cooking shows, home improvement shows, family-friendly reality shows like The Voice. Watching things like those listed above may save your sanity over seeing SpongeBob every day.
2. Take your kids to a playground. If you feel well enough to drive a short distance, pile your children into the car and go to a local park or elementary school. While they play, you can lie on a comfy picnic blanket, snacking or resting. I don’t recommend falling asleep at these places unless you have a responsible older child or another adult with you.

Image courtesy of Wikimedia Commons – photographer attribute in the link for the picture itself.

1. Go to the movies. Yes, it can be expensive, and yes, they should get to pick the movie, which might leave you watching something that doesn’t particularly thrill or entertain you, but the point is to have them concentrating on something other than bugging you about wanting to do stuff you know you aren’t able to. And if you do fall asleep in one of those comfy recliners, who cares? Just again be sure your child/children will be okay if this happens.

BONUS: If you have a mom friend whose offspring your offspring get along with, you may be able to give them a shout and ask if they’d be willing to host a playdate for a few hours so you can rest. Most of these mom friends will know about your situation and often agree to this plan.

Just be sure to reciprocate on a day you feel good. I know none of us can see the future, but especially during the summer, an impromptu call from you offering to take her kids off her hands for an afternoon might delight her. Another positive benefit is that both sets of kids get some exercise and entertainment and it might not even take a lot of your energy if your kids are busy playing with others.

BONUS #2: Again, if you have someone you can do this with, suggest the two of you taking the children to someplace like Chuck E. Cheese (just be sure you don’t have a migraine – that place can get loud), or another destination where you won’t have to expend much energy. Our local bowling has a summer pass for about $20, and it includes unlimited bowling.

The times may be somewhat restricted by their league schedule, but not many alleys have leagues during the day. If your children are old enough to bowl without assistance, you can sit and cheer. If your town has an arcade/bounce house type establishment, that’s another good opportunity. My daughter suggested one of those places that has trampolines.

I realize many of these ideas cost money, but if you have the funds available to do something like this once every few weeks, you might be able to avoid throwing yourself into a full-fledged flare by overdoing it, or having to listen to your children whine about being bored. Obviously you can always tell them to read or play or watch TV on their own, but especially during the summer, they might get bored of that.

Are there any activities you do at home or away that help with those “meh” days? Tell me in the comments!

Much has been made lately of the concept of the detox bath. Some people like to make you think a detox bath will cure what ails you (which we all know isn’t true), and others suggest them as one more cog in your illness management wheel. I’ll explain the concept of the detox bath, why you should consider making them a part of your week, and how to actually go about drawing one.

The concept: Certain compounds naturally pull toxins from the body. In a detox bath, you combine a few and then let them do their job.

Why you should take them: Our world is filled with chemicals and pollutants. Even the healthiest eater is still breathing in the air around them. Detox baths help your body fight back against the things trying to do you harm. Besides, most of us love taking baths. Personally, I’ll take a bath over a shower any day. Showers tire me out and my balance isn’t always great in the tub, but it’s much harder to slip and slide when your body is more or less horizontal.

How you make a detox bath: The “recipes” for detox baths are endless, and you can find several on my Detox Your Body board. The basic detox bath only needs two things, though (besides you and water) – baking soda and either epsom salts or magnesium flakes. To find out where to get these items, check out my Product Reviews page.
Turn on the tap to the hottest temperature you can stand, since the point is to sweat out the bad stuff, much like a sauna. Plug the tub and then grab your baking soda. Generally speaking, you want about one-half cup per bath. I put some into my hand and then dump it directly into the bath toward the end where the tap is.
Now you need your epsom salts or magnesium flakes. Magnesium flakes may cause your skin to tingle, and not everyone likes that sensation, so epsom salts are often used in place of them. Again, dump some into your hand and scatter it in the same place as the baking soda. Swish everything around with your hands to help combine the additions, and you’ve got yourself a basic detox bath.
There are also variations, like adding lavender or peppermint essential oil. Not only will your bath smell lovely, but both help with that whole “sweating” idea. And like I said, countless recipes exist, and I’ve pinned at least a couple dozen to the Pinterest board I mentioned above.

What do you like to add to your detox baths? Did I miss anything? Let me know in the comments!

It seems like every chronic illness comes with a few of the same components, including debilitating fatigue. For some people, it’s not that bad and a short nap each day takes care of their needs. But others find they literally cannot get out of bed because their energy is so zapped.

To fight back against fatigue, you need a plan. Below are five ways to overcome fatigue, or at least make it easier to handle.

1. Accept that fatigue is now a part of your life. It won’t go away. You can fight it, but chronic means all the time. You aren’t going to wake up one day bouncing with energy and be able to sustain that. Once you accept that you aren’t the person you once were and need to let go of old expectations without guilt, you’ll be able to really tackle the fatigue factor of your illness.
2. Although insomnia is common amongst people with chronic illnesses/pain, try to get some decent sleep at night. Whether that means going to bed earlier, using meds to help you get to sleep, or taking a bath with magnesium (which helps you feel sleepy), is up to you. Even four or five hours of sleep at night helps.
   I bought a ridiculously expensive bed that I’m paying off over something like three years because it’s more comfortable and my quality of sleep has improved with it. Not everyone can afford that, but you can put down the book, turn off the TV, put the phone on the charger, lower the lights, and other things that signal your body that it’s time to sleep.
3. Schedule at least one nap into your day. Don’t wait until the fatigue catches up with you and your body starts going into self-shutoff mode. Even if you work outside the home, even if you have children to care for, you’re setting yourself up for a crash/flare if you try to push beyond your limitations. Take a nap in your car during lunch, find a quiet conference room you can commandeer for a little while – do whatever it takes to give your body a chance to get through the rest of your day.
   If you’re home, figure out when you can nap. Nap when your small children do. If you have older kids, tell them not to disturb you when the bedroom door is closed unless it’s an emergency. Ask your spouse to run interference for you or take the kids out for lunch and a few errands.
4. Be aware of your weekly calendar. For instance, if you have a wedding to attend on a Saturday, you know you’re going to be tired. In that case, try to take a nap that day if you can. If you are unable to, do the best you can. Borrow some spoons from the next day (if you don’t understand the concept of spoons in chronic illness, go here for an explanation), when hopefully you won’t be as busy and you can recharge your energy stores.
5. Remember that rest doesn’t always equal sleep. Lying in bed reading, binge-watching Netflix, or simply closing your eyes on the couch while your favorite music plays softly counts as rest. Being in a horizontal position and not expending energy are the keys here.
   You aren’t resting if you’re cleaning your house or making dinner or shuttling kids to soccer practice or running errands. Your family must accept that you’re doing the best you can and that they may have to lower their expectations for what a “clean” house looks like or learn to like frozen pizza for dinner.
   Use friends – perhaps you drive to soccer practice one week and they drive the next, or they can bring you a meal every now and then when they know you’re flaring. Friends and family sometimes just need to be asked. Many of them won’t understand what you’re going through or what they can do to make your life easier, but if you can swallow your pride and your guilt, oftentimes they’re more than happy to help.

Obviously this is not a comprehensive list, and as fatigue IS such a huge part of chronic pain and illness, I’ll be revisiting this topic in future posts. If you have a strategy for combating fatigue, let me know down in the comments. Conversely, if you’re at your wit’s end and don’t know how to get the rest you need, comment. The community of chronic illness warriors is very supportive and we’ll try to help you find a solution.